David Parkin on a degree of success, turning visionary and accountants at the Oscars

I PAID a visit to my alma mater the other day.

No, not Borstal or Rampton.

In the spirit of political correctness, younger readers should refrain from Googling those names.

Anyway, I visited the University of Huddersfield thanks to an invitation from Professor Bob Cryan, the vice chancellor, who took part in a round table I chaired at Grant Thornton last year.

Hearing I was a graduate of the university, Bob offered to show me around the place along with Andy Wood, GT’s main man in Leeds.

It has certainly changed a bit since I graduated 25 years ago.

Then it was a jumble of unattractive modern blocks and converted mill buildings set around a main concrete tower.

Now it is a welcoming sight with well designed buildings with flowing curves adorned with quotes from inspiring individuals such as Maya Angelou and Lemn Sissay.

It is a far cry from the time when you could buy a pint of Ward’s Sheffield Bitter in the Student Union for 60p and dance to the La’s There She Goes until the small hours.

As I entered a lift next to the library to ascend to Bob Cryan’s office in the Schwann Building, I suddenly realised that I was in the main concrete tower that used to stick out in the middle of the town like a pimple.

Bob said that the design of all the new buildings around the Schwann had been about shielding it from view. It certainly works.

Inside the buildings you have a thriving seat of learning with 22,000 students from 130 countries.

And this is an institution that embraces enterprise as well as research and teaching.

Sir George Buckley, the former chairman, chief executive and president of US industrial giant 3M, studied at the university and has put his name and that of his former employer to the 3M Buckley Innovation Centre at the university.

He is a regular visitor from the US and Bob says the Sheffield-born industrialist always has Yorkshire Tea on board his private jet.

You’ve got to stay grounded.

Another graduate is Paul Grimwood, CEO of Nestle in the US, which has a $28bn turnover.

The tour of the university was energising and awe-inspiring, taking in the Institute for Railway Research, an electron microscope so big that a two-storey building was created to house it, 3D printing of everything from English Civil War arms and armour to scans of the human brain.

An academic from Huddersfield is writing a history of the Beefeaters and the university’s battlefield archeologist discovered the true location of the Battle of Bosworth where Richard III died.

The university is a world leader in computer music composition and has the only NSPCC-sponsored professor in the UK.

It has strong partnerships with businesses across the Leeds City Region and beyond with a base in Shanghai.

Leading our tour was Colin Blair, director of estates and facilities.

He started his job in 1989, the year I went to Huddersfield.

I mentioned my hall of residence, Buckden Mount, a former mill owner’s mansion just off the Halifax road, where I shared a bedroom with two other students during my first year.

I spent many happy hours sitting in the communal lounge watching Neighbours twice a day.

Telling Colin that we used to get told off for having water fights indoors, he didn’t appear to have as fond memories of that time as I did.

“It was probably me that gave you the bollockings,” he said.

Bob Cryan marks a decade as the head of his home town university this year and when he took the role in 2007 he was the youngest vice chancellor in the UK.

After graduating from Huddersfield he became the youngest professor of engineering in the UK and before returning as VC he held senior roles at Manchester Metropolitan, Northumbria and Swansea universities.

Faced with all this academic success, I felt embarrassed to have to admit to Bob that I only scraped into my history and politics degree course back when it was plain Huddersfield Polytechnic.

And I can only claim to have a university degree because the institution changed from a poly to a university in the summer that I left, but the graduation ceremony wasn’t until the November that year, so I was presented with a degree certificate from the University of Huddersfield.

Bob nodded sagely.

And then told me he had delayed completing his PhD at Huddersfield in 1992 so he could make sure it was from a university.

:::

I WAS sent a copy of a Linkedin profile this week.

The individual, who is based in Melbourne, Australia, described themselves as follows:

“Aspiring Marketing Visionary – looking for a new opportunity!”

OK, fair play to her, you’ve got to be creative to get a job these days, but surely you can’t aspire to be a visionary can you?

And if you are, then you probably don’t need to be seeking a new opportunity because you should have spotted it already.

I’ve reviewed my own Linkedin profile as a result and concluded I could probably put the word “aspiring” in front of all the words describing what I do.

I’m visionary like that.

:::

IF you thought you were having a bad week – I went to a meeting yesterday forgetting to put a handkerchief in the top pocket of my suit – it could be worse.

You could have been a PwC accountant at the Oscars.

For 80-odd years the firm has coordinated the voting and results of the annual Hollywood film awards.

And then all that work comes crashing down because one envelope was handed out incorrectly.

What staggered me was not so much the cock-up, these things happen, but the fact that two senior accountants were poncing about on the red carpet showing off the briefcases containing the names of the Oscar winners like they were a pair of Hollywood A-listers.

But on reflection, that’s not so surprising.

Every accountant I’ve met thinks they are a star.

You only have to stand at the bar at Restaurant Bar & Grill in Leeds and watch them arrive for lunch, looking like they are heading down the catwalk.

Preening like peacocks, the lot of them, they just want to be seen – airily straightening their polyester tie and nonchalantly flicking the dandruff from their suit collar.

“All right Mr DeMille, I’m ready for my close up. And to do your tax return.”

Have a great weekend.

1 thought on “David Parkin on a degree of success, turning visionary and accountants at the Oscars”

  1. Happened on this quite by accident while searching for Buckden Mount. I lived there in 1980 and shared a room with two other girls – the room at the front top right. Spent a lot of time in the lounge sitting on top of the piano watching Top of the Pops. Best year of my life and many, many happy memories.

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