“HAVE you got a cravat on?”
“Pardon?” I responded to the person on the other end of the phone.
“Me and Susan had a bet that you’d be wearing a cravat.”
You take two flights halfway across Europe and you arrive in the Cote d’Azur to a question like that.
Given it was a query posed by the people employing me to work at an event in Cannes, I felt I had to respond positively, rather than my kneejerk reaction of: “Do one, love.”
“No Claire, I’m not wearing a cravat, but be assured there is one in my case which I’m currently waiting for at Nice Airport,” I replied with a certain level of false bonhomie.
By the time I came off the call I had received a text from the airline KLM, with which I had flown from Leeds, via Amsterdam to Nice.
“Your baggage item did not make it on board, but has been scheduled for the next available flight.”
Marvellous.
I’ve done my fair share of flying but arriving without my luggage has only happened once before.
That was on holiday to Barbados, where a T-shirt, swimming trunks and flip flops constitute ‘smart casual’.
This time I was working at a leadership conference for 140 of the top executives for a division of a multi-billion dollar global business at the luxurious Carlton Hotel on the Croisette in Cannes.
So Speedos, thongs (in the footwear sense of the word) and a muscle vest were not an option.
Given I arrived on Saturday and the conference wasn’t due to start until Monday, I figured I’d got a chance of having my errant luggage returned to me in time to be properly dressed before the formalities began.
It was my job to work as a speaker coach with the executives making presentations at the conference and in my eyes at least, turning up to do the job in my travelling outfit of trainers, jeans and a sweater was a trifle disrespectful to my hosts.
Somewhere in Amsterdam’s Schipol Airport, there was a grey case full of jackets and trousers tailored by James Michelsberg.
Not to mention shirts, ties, a cravat (well, probably more a bandana) and the lotions and potions I need to keep myself looking youthful and gorgeous.
Shut it.
And I mean you too, Mother.
I decided to head out to the shops, only to find that the ones near the world famous Croisette are the same as you would find on Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills or Bond Street in the West End of London.
Fortunately I’m not into designer labels, so I headed off the beaten track where I was able to buy a white shirt, some toiletries and entered into complex negotiations to acquire a pair of underpants.
Despite the nice lady in the shop assuring me that the 40 euro boxer shorts she was trying to sell me “are very smooze on ze inside, very nice feel”, I declined the opportunity for such an experience and instead bought two from Mango for half the price.
Everything about the Carlton Hotel, which is the jewel of Cannes, built in 1913 and which has recently undergone a refurbishment which saw it closed for four years, oozes luxury, style and comfort.
There are a few displays of overt wealth by guests – a £2m Bugatti Veyron parked outside, a lady wearing a pair of fur slippers at breakfast – but most guests glide anonymously around the hotel and its gardens, greeted by warm and helpful staff – probably the best I’ve ever experienced in a hotel anywhere.
All of the staff were clad in a variety of very stylish clothing and I even considered taking a temporary job in the restaurant as I found the waiters’ outfits – knitted tan polo shirts under navy cardigans, slim cream chinos and a very chic scarf knotted at the neck – rather striking.
But then when all you’ve got is the clothes you are standing up in, I suppose anything looks good.
The positive news is that my luggage was delivered to my room on Sunday evening, meaning that on Monday morning I was able to don my Michelsberg blazer and flannels and stride proudly and confidently into the conference room at the Carlton.
Well, when I say stride, there was a certain degree of limping involved, as despite some prescription painkillers, my sciatica is still giving me a bit of gip.
But then as Claire Holt, my “boss” for the week, helpfully pointed out: “Well at least losing your luggage meant you moaned about that rather than your sciatica, David.”
Nice.
I’ve always seen myself as the strong, stoic type.
:::
THE executives who I was coaching in Cannes were a fascinating and diverse group of individuals.
They were from India, Brazil, the USA, France, Germany and the UK and work in many different parts of a division of a global company that employs over 30,000 people.
This part of the business represents 10% of the total number of employees of the group as a whole.
What all the people I worked with had in common, other than being phenomenally successful high performers, is that they were warm, polite and engaging.
Believe me, not every executive I work with is like that.
They were joined by a variety of guest speakers at the event, both in person and virtually, on video calls.
Sunday Times columnist, former table tennis champion and all round ‘big thinker’ Matthew Syed was the keynote speaker, outlining his theories on how to adopt a ‘growth mentality’.
His best-selling books have inspired not just business people.
‘You Are Awesome: Find Your Confidence and Dare to be Brilliant at (Almost) Anything’ is a positive and empowering guide to help boys and girls build resilience and fulfill their potential which I’m told has really inspired many kids who have read it.
Joining the conference on a video call from his company’s headquarters in Silicon Valley, California, was the tech billionaire Jay Chaudhry.
Born in India in 1958, his parents were farmers in a village that didn’t have running water or electricity until he was a teenager.
He moved to America to go to university at the age of 22 and, after jobs at IBM and Unisys, he started five security software businesses.
His latest, Zscaler, was founded in 2007 and now has a market value of $34bn.
Forbes magazine estimates Jay Chaudhry’s net worth at $11.9bn.
What I saw up on screen was a humble, intelligent, thoughtful, caring individual who appears far removed from some of the ego-driven, self-interested ‘tech bros’ who have flown like moths towards the bright lights shining around Donald Trump.
As one of the conference delegates commented to me: “Jay Chaudhry cares about more than just himself and his company.
“He thinks about the bigger picture like the environment and sustainability but also, despite running a multi-billion dollar company, was able to refer in detail to a $150,000 dollar deal his business has done recently.”
:::
THE theme of the conference was “Seize” as in seize the opportunity, moment, day.
One morning started with a clip from the film Dead Poets’ Society, starring Robin Williams.
If you’ve seen it, you’ll know the Latin phrase ‘carpe diem’ – which translated means ‘seize the day’ is the central theme of the movie.
I remembered what an impact the film had had on me when I first saw it and realised that I haven’t watched it for years.
When I do eventually get home, it is top of my list to view again.
:::
AS well as the speaker coaching at the conference I was asked to introduce the entertainment at the celebration dinner in a beach front restaurant in Cannes.
As the rain bounced down outside, the guests inside enjoyed dinner, a couple of slightly unsettling mime artists and some very flexible can can dancers.
Then it was my turn to introduce “the turn”, an improvisational rapper from Ireland called Abandoman.
He is a musician with a twist: every song he performs is created entirely through improvisation.
And not only that, every song stars different people in the audience.
He chats to people in the room and then instantly creates songs based on their lives.
Abandoman has toured with Ed Sheeran and played the Glastonbury, Leeds and Reading Festivals.
He is a very talented performer who combines music and comedy to create something truly unique.
Before he went on he asked me if I could build up the atmosphere and excitement in the audience.
I hoped that I did that.
The next day when I was checking out of the hotel, a large Dutchman who is based in Dallas came up to me, pointed at me and said: “You are a great announcer! You did a great job!”
I thanked him, but he didn’t want to stop there.
“You are very good, you should be a boxing announcer!”
Modesty prevents me from providing my own assessment of my performance.
Suffice to say: “Let’s get ready to rumble!”
:::
I FLEW back from Nice into London to work at an awards event in Covent Garden last night.
My wife is joining me later to spend the weekend in London seeing some friends.
On the Elizabeth Line Underground train which took me from Heathrow to central London on Wednesday night I noticed a poster advertising an event that is taking place in the capital this weekend.
The Health Tourism Expo is being held at the Queen Elizabeth II Centre in Westminster today and tomorrow.
The event, which is free to attend for the “general public” offers the opportunity to “discover affordable world class healthcare where you can: “Meet Turkiye’s 80 hospitals and clinics, get free consultations and book treatments.”
The accompanying images on the poster were of treatments including teeth straightening, eye lifts, nose jobs, tummy tucks and hair transplants.
Do you know, I may just pop along today.
The only problem is, where do I start?
Have a great weekend.