I SUPPOSE it was always going to happen. The long arm of the law has finally caught up with me and I’m going to jail next week.
Given that I’ve been committing the crime I’m being imprisoned for every week for more than 25 years, even I have to accept that I’m guilty as charged.
I’ll be taking part in Jail or Bail for Maggie’s Yorkshire and my crime is having too many business lunches.
The event sees local business leaders found guilty of outrageous charges and locked up for Maggie’s Yorkshire.
With only a phone, laptop and our powers of persuasion, we will need your help to raise funds to pay our bail and escape jail.
Although I suspect there will be so little sympathy for my plight that some people may very well make donations on the condition that I’m kept in the slammer to prevent me making a break for the lunchtime watering holes of Leeds.
When Caroline Pullich of NFU Mutual rang to ask me to take part, I agreed because it sounded like a fun charity event and because Maggie’s Yorkshire is a cause close to my heart.
I was involved in the original fundraising to build the centre and to have the chance to raise money to support its incredible work for those with cancer and their families is a real privilege.
Jail or Bail is a great idea. I’m not sure many people will have any sympathy for me, but my day in jail will mean I’m at least prevented from having another business lunch…
Others behind bars with me for the day at law firm Irwin Mitchell’s office at Wellington Place in Leeds include auctioneer and property professional Richard Smailes (charged with convincing people to part with their hard earned cash for charity), hotelier Wayne Topley (charged with enjoying the sound of his own voice, especially on a microphone) and Irwin Mitchell’s Michaela Morris (charged with always using pictures of her cat, Maggie, in presentations).
All of us must get on our phones and laptops and use our powers of persuasion to convince our friends and contacts to donate to achieve our minimum bail of £1,000 each.
Can I succeed in raising bail or will people donate to keep me in the clink?
To make a donation click this link: https://www.justgiving.com/page/david-parkin-1?utm_medium=FR&utm_source=CL
I’ll hopefully see you on the other side.
In the meantime my dreams are constantly haunted by images of Gene Wilder and Richard Pryor in Stir Crazy.
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FROM me having a bit of fun to raise money for Maggie’s Yorkshire to two guys who really are taking on a huge challenge for the charity.
I’ve written before about a pair of Yorkshire lawyers who are taking on the gruelling ‘World’s Toughest Row’ across the Atlantic.
My friends Richard Larking and David Knaggs committed to the 3,000 mile odyssey almost two years ago but now reality is looming and they are due to set off in December and spend two months at sea rowing from the Canary Islands to Antigua in the West Indies.
They have already secured plenty of high profile sponsors and bought, named and equipped a boat as well as raising £50,000 of their ambitious £150,000 fundraising target.
They held an event at Alwoodley Golf Club in Leeds last week for sponsors and supporters.
Calling themselves Team GREENS2BLUE (get it?)Richard and David hatched the plan to take part in the race while golfing together at Alwoodley and are raising funds for charities Maggie’s, which supports people with cancer, their families and friends, and Friends of Alfie Martin, which raises funds for neonatal equipment at the Leeds Teaching Hospitals.
Aged 59 and 60 when the race kicks off, the pair will be two of the oldest participants in a gruelling transatlantic voyage that will see them celebrate Christmas and New Year thousands of miles from their families, facing 40ft waves and hazards including shipping traffic, whales and potential marlin strikes.
I know some of their golfing pals had their doubts about whether the pair were up to it, but from what I’ve seen their preparation – including spending wave-tossed days and nights rowing their seven-metre boat called ‘Brizo’ off Hartlepool – has been intense, even eight months away from when they set off.
“It feels great to mark the progress we’ve made towards our fundraising target with the help of our supporters. With a charity ball and golf day still to come in the summer, we’re confident that we can make it all the way by the time we head to the race start in December. We’re both training really hard as the day draws ever closer and the challenge of more than possibly fifty days at sea becomes more and more real, so this gathering is a little light relief from our diet and exercise regimes,” said David.
“The support we’ve had from businesses, friends and well-wishers at the golf club where we first had the idea to take on this challenge has been fantastic, and we’re grateful for everything people are doing to help us towards our target,” added Richard.
The pair have secured sponsorship from leading regional and local businesses since they announced their participation in the race last year. In addition to headline sponsor, independent business rescue and recovery specialist Begbies Traynor, they now have 12 other corporate supporters ranging from restaurants to wealth managers.
As well as sponsorship, the two charities will benefit from the proceeds of fundraising events including a golf day at Alwoodley Golf Club in May and a black-tie Midsummer Night ball at the Pavilions of Harrogate on 21 June which I will be compering.
It was nice to see fellow tie-wearer Julian Pitts, regional managing partner for Begbies Traynor’s 10 offices across Yorkshire, Humberside and the North East, at last week’s event.
Simon Dewhurst, who if he takes any more photos of me is in danger of becoming this blog’s official photographer, did a great job of making it look like Julian and I were the athletes undertaking the ‘World’s Toughest Row’.
Well don’t take a vote on it.
Julian said: “It’s remarkable to see the progress that Richard and David are making towards their targets, and the physical and mental preparation they are undertaking to make sure they are properly equipped for the weeks of isolation and exertion they have ahead of them once they depart from the Canary Islands in December.
“To have already received the sponsorship and donations that they have towards their ambitious fundraising target is a great achievement and hopefully more sponsors and supporters will join the effort in the run up to the race start,” he added.
Further opportunities to support the pair in their fundraising, including details of the fundraising events, can be found on the website: www.greens2blue.co.uk
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SIR Ken Morrison would be spinning in his grave.
Morrisons said this week that 365 jobs are at risk of redundancy after it announced plans to close some of its cafes, convenience stores, florists and fresh food counters.
The supermarket chain said it was costing more to run the services than it was making from customer spending.
The closures will see it shut down 52 cafes, all 18 market kitchens, 17 Morrisons Daily convenience stores, 13 florists, 35 meat counters, 35 fish counters and four pharmacies.
The majority of staff members affected by the changes are expected to be deployed to roles elsewhere in the business, but the supermarket chain said that there will be a total of around 365 employees at risk of redundancy.
I can’t think that many of them will be working from the cafe side of the business.
On the last few occasions I’ve called in at a Morrisons cafe for a cup of char and some nice crumpet I’ve struggled to find a member of staff to pay.
All of the cafes I’ve been in were understaffed and on more than one occasion I’ve had to put my head into the kitchen to see if the loan member of staff preparing meals could come out to operate the till.
Rami Baitieh, Morrisons’ chief executive, said the changes were a “necessary part of our plans to renew and reinvigorate” the chain and invest in areas that “customers really value”.
Following his retirement, a frustrated Sir Ken stood up at a Morrisons AGM and accused chief executive Dalton Philips of producing way more bullsh*t than the bullocks on his farm.
I suspect that statement by the latest CEO at Hilmore House in Bradford would get the same response.
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In the last few weeks I’ve been accused of being a successful rugby player and an electrician.
I don’t know whether to be flattered or annoyed.
I was at a charity event at Hotham Hall in East Yorkshire when a solid looking chap walked up to me and said: “Didn’t I play rugby against you at Hull?”
I assured him he didn’t and if he had I would have remembered and probably still carry the scars to show for it.
And then a friend of mine who recently moved to Devon sent me a message to say that she was sure that a neighbour of hers was a Facebook friend of mine.
When she asked the lady how she knew David Parkin, she replied: “Is he an electrician?”
To which my friend responded that she didn’t know anyone less like an electrician than me.
Which left me wondering whether to take that as a compliment.
As she recounted her story to me, my friend’s husband quipped that if I ever do choose to provide electrical services then I could call my venture: ‘Sparky Parky’.
And I could use this blog to give myself plenty of plugs.
Have a great weekend.